I manage to shock people who have known me for a while. Yes, even now. Most people don't usually come across, what my mom calls, my rudra roop (when I get hopping mad and bite people's heads and hearts out). Sometime during my growing up years, I learnt that being aggressive was bad and I felt guilty about being "mean" and "un-lady like." I even came to the stage where I became a pushover to avoid displeasing anybody. Now I gag at the thought. In the past couple of years I've learnt the following rules:
1. It's nice to be nice but it's so much better to true to your feelings. As long as I'm not lying, cheating or purposefully harming anybody, I rather be happy than be miserable. Simple.
2. Eliminate the word "because" from my dictionary. I thank my friend (and an admirable senior colleague) for that advice. I no longer say "I don't want (you) to do this because…." It's interesting to see how people react when you don't give an explanation when they haven't asked for it in the first place.
3. Men treat work with pride and women with care. And quoting from http://professionalcareerist.wordpress.com/2009/10/18/emotions-at-work-a-predominantly-female-affliction/, "Pride vs Care. Pride implies one is happy with what one does, with the work they deliver and the results. Care implies conscientiousness, other's acceptance of the work rendered and the reflection of the quality of work. Pride is impersonal. Care is personal," which explains quite well why most women bosses go a tad overboard with their mother-hen behavior when it comes to handling their team. Men, when they usually take pride in the fact they have a team to do the work for them.
4. Working means you need to learn how to play like a man. Let's face it, the women population in most work places is much lower than men's and reduces even more when one climbs the proverbial ladder of success. So learn the game. The point to remember is that men work just the way boys play in the field. There will be cussing and bruising but at the end of the day/play, there are no hard feelings. Women, on the other hand, become emotional as a result of what they think the other person feels toward them in that one instance…and every instance thereafter.
5. Never cry at work. I loathe it when I find women crying at a workplace because someone said something to them. Aaargh! Re-read point no. 4.
6. Self-promotion is not bad but the tact to do is, well, is to be learnt. Men, tone it down, will ya? And ladies, speak up or don't bitch about others who do it and do it right.
