It’s so hard to keep a secret sometimes. I am trying hard not to let my close friends know that I am so close to getting married. Married. There, I said it. A word that I abhorred when I was younger and now look forward to. Does it unnerve most people like it does me?
Most of my close friends were eager to get married to their present spouses. Some were love marriages but others were arranged marriages where my friends knew that they were ready to commit. I have been standing on the sideline unable to make up my mind for so long that it scares to think what will ensue from my decision. No matter what decision I take. Will I regret rejecting a man who seems to have the qualities that I have been looking for just because I don’t know him well enough to put my fears to rest? Do we ever know a person well enough? Or will I regret my decision to marry him just because I liked what I saw and it “felt” right to me at that time. I guess the only way to know the answer is to make a decision and go through with it.
And I have to keep it a secret till I come close to getting engaged. It's no use discussing something that may not materialise afterall. Besides, I have already seen how Dr. A, my best gay friend, behaved when he thought I was going away from him forever once before. I wouldn't want to be ignored by him while he gathers the strength to accept the fact that I will not be with him forever.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed and my heart strong in the meanwhile. This Pandora has locked a trouble by blogging anonymously.
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